Ranking Zero-Calorie Drinks
I really like zero-calorie drinks, and I am not totally sure why. If I had to guess, it is because my parents banned them when I was younger because of the caffeine. That logic never fully made sense to me, since plenty of non-zero-calorie drinks also have caffeine. The ban just made them feel “special,” and now I clearly over-correct.
There is a good Arabic saying for this:
الممنوع مرغوب
What is banned is wanted
With that out of the way, here is my ranking.
7) Cherry Cola
Section titled “7) Cherry Cola”
I tried to like it. I really did. I just hate cherries, so this was never going to work.
6) Monster
Section titled “6) Monster”
This is controversial because people love this stuff, but I do not get it. The caffeine level feels like it should be illegal. It makes my stomach feel weird, and whenever I drink it, my whole day feels off.
5) Celsius
Section titled “5) Celsius”
It tastes good at first, but it is still too much caffeine for me. Also, it has that “fake sweet” taste, but at least it is not aggressively sugary.
4) Coca-Cola Zero Sugar
Section titled “4) Coca-Cola Zero Sugar”
Classic. The best part is the consistency: I always know exactly what I am getting.
3) Pepsi
Section titled “3) Pepsi”.WJiqce8Y_1cWHwi.webp)
Same idea as Coke, but it has an extra kick for some reason. Something about it flips a switch in my brain in a very specific way (I am not addicted).
2) 7UP
Section titled “2) 7UP”
The hidden goat. It actually tastes refreshing, not heavy, and not ridiculously sweet.
1) Dr Pepper Zero Sugar
Section titled “1) Dr Pepper Zero Sugar”
The undisputed GOAT. Maybe it is because it is the most “American” drink on this list and I did not have it until I came to the US, but it has a unique taste that nothing else here comes close to.